Lessons From the Life Of A Dreamer: Sarcasm

(Catch up on the series here.)

Sarcasm can be deadly.

When the brothers saw Joseph approaching them from a distance, they said, Here comes the dreamer! I can almost hear their voices dripping with sarcasm and see their faces contorted into sneers.

Immediately, the brothers plotted to kill Joseph: Let’s kill him and throw him into one of these old cisterns; we can say that a vicious animal ate him up. We’ll see what his dreams amount to (37:20, MSG).

Do you see how quickly sarcasm turn can turn to plotting against another person?

One of the brothers, Reuben, suggested that they not kill him, but merely throw him into a pit. Reuben hoped to rescue Joseph and return him home to Jacob. For a moment, we might think Reuben to be noble. But notice that he didn’t stand up to his brothers and insist they leave Joseph alone.

When Joseph reached his brothers, they yanked off his coat and threw him into a pit.

Then, as if they hadn’t just plotted their brother’s murder and tossed him into a pit he couldn’t climb out of, they sat down and ate supper. How callous must they have been to go on about their business as if nothing had happened? The years of jealousy and resentment and anger must have turned their hearts to stone.

As they ate, they spotted a caravan of traveling salesmen who were headed to Egypt, and one of the brothers (Judah) suggested they sell Joseph rather than murder him: Brothers, what are we going to get out of killing our brother and concealing the evidence? Let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites, but let’s not kill him—he is, after all, our brother, our own flesh and blood (37:36-27, MSG). Judah, like Reuben, appears to be altruistic by suggesting they spare Joseph’s life, but also like Reuben, he didn’t go so far as to demand they leave Joseph alone. So they agreed to profit off Joseph’s life, pulled him out of the pit, and sold him to traders for twenty pieces of silver.

I can’t help but wonder what was going through Joseph’s mind all this time. I’m guessing he knew he was his father’s favorite son. And maybe he knew his dreams would provoke his brothers. But I doubt he ever imagined that they would want to kill or sell him.

I also wonder what Joseph thought as he heard his brothers’ dinner conversation. Surely, he had felt the chasm between his brothers and himself. Surely, he had felt their jealousy. But to hear their blatant, callous hatred and disregard for his life must have been painful.

Sarcasm is hostility masked as humor. The more sarcastic people are, the more hostile they become. In a family environment where sarcasm is allowed to continue, the recipient of the put downs is often emotionally wounded.

Sarcasm is often used to buffer deep feelings of insecurity, resentment, and anger. Though I try to be more careful now with my words, I have been guilty of using sarcasm more often than I care to admit. I was also on the receiving end of sarcasm for many years. I’ve used cutting words like a weapon to wound others, and I’ve also been the wounded.

To be emotionally healthy, we must rid ourselves of sarcasm. We must choose to be vulnerable instead of hiding our feelings behind snide comments. In addition, we must accept the responsibility of setting boundaries in our relationships with people who are prone to use sarcasm as a passive-aggressive way of communicating.

In Joseph’s family, sarcastic communication led to conspiracy to commit murder. We’ll see later how Joseph changed the form of communication in his family to one that was healthy.