Perseverance

I started running several years ago and fell in love. I was never athletic in my younger years, so I didn’t even consider running until a friend convinced me. Truth is, I just never liked to sweat. But something in me came to life when I started running…perseverance. And I couldn’t leave well enough alone. I wanted to find out how much perseverance I had. So I kept running.

I ran my first half marathon in February, and was thrilled to know I had enough perseverance in me to finish. My goal for this year was to run at least one 5k every month, and had planned on an 8k and 10k.

But a few of months ago I started experiencing pain in my right leg as I ran. I’d run through the pain, take a pain reliever, and go again. I bought new shoes hoping to alleviate the problem. I gave myself a couple of weeks off, thinking I might just need to rest my leg. But as soon as I hit the pavement, I knew my leg was no better. In fact, it was worse. I tried to run through the pain again, but no such luck. I ended up walking. 

My husband suggested I go to the doctor, which I did. An x-ray didn’t show anything, so he sent me for an MRI. It was about a three-week process from the first doctor’s visit to the MRI results, during which time I didn’t run at all due to the pain and a swollen ankle. Still I was holding out hope. So Tuesday when I went to the doctor to get the results, I didn’t expect the news I received. I went in hoping he’d say the MRI was fine, that I probably just needed to change shoes, and I could get back to running.

Instead, he informed me that I have a stress fracture and have to wear a boot for 6-plus weeks. No running….for quite a while. To put it mildly, I was disheartened. But he was quick to remind me that it could be worse: I could have broken it and required surgery. So I left his office trying to see the silver lining. And I did okay until yesterday morning.

As I sat drinking my coffee, I looked out my front window to see a neighbor running down the street. Even in that moment, I held it together. But a little later, when I heard one of my favorite running songs, Good Morning by Mandisa, the tears came without warning. The realization that I wouldn’t meet my goal for the year settled in. Sadness settled in with the idea that pain doesn’t care about perseverance. So I had my pity party.

But perseverance is once again kicking in. I’m going to use this time to try something new {maybe I’ll share later what it is}. I’m already finding that something different in me is coming to life in this new thing, and it’s exciting!

While I’d prefer to avoid the pain and the healing process, and to just be able to run, I’m trusting that something great is going to come from it all. Something I might not have otherwise taken the time to pursue. I’m looking for some purpose in this painfully slow healing process.