Have you ever had several nights in a row {maybe even weeks} when you didn’t sleep well? You tossed and turned throughout the night, catching a few zzzzzs every so often, but restful sleep eluded you. You awoke in the mornings feeling tired and cranky. Your days were filled with longings for bedtime, only to have your head hit the pillow, followed by another long, restless night. But then, one night, it finally happened: you slept…a really good sleep. You awoke in the morning, and the last thing you remembered was wearily crawling into bed. You didn’t wake up at all during the night. You finally felt rested. You finally woke up feeling energized. You finally felt alive!
I tossed and turned through 35 years of my life. I caught a few moments of joy here and there, but mostly, fear held me captive. I longed for something more, hoping the next adventure, purchase or vacation would provide that much-needed contentment, only to be disappointed.
The past year has been much like that good night’s sleep, and the past couple of months have been like the following morning. I’ve awakened to this life God created. I’ve awakened to unfailing love, joy unspeakable, and contentment in the hard places. I’ve watched the shackles of fear fall at my feet, and God has led me away from them. I’ve awakened to passionate life. There’s finally life inside this living, breathing body! I’m finally alive!
Are you?
This is so beautiful, it made me cry! How exciting for you to have made it to this point!
I've been caught in the cycle of thinking the next big thing would bring contentment, and I'm afraid sometimes I still do that. Do you think your journey in learning about grace helped lead you here?
Heather, I absolutely think the grace journey has led me to this point {and will continue to lead me}. I think part of it was in asking God to show me abundant life. Also, part of it has been in learning the role of the Holy Spirit in my life…I still have a lot to learn, but that has been a huge eye opener.
Grace and the Holy Spirit…
I think I'm undergoing a transformation with every new understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit. Something happened in January that I haven't been able to put into words just yet, but I have no doubt that it's His working in me. No doubt…I still have days of frustration, but the overall tone of my life has changed.
I read your blog, but have never commented before. I just wanted you to know that I am so happy for you. This is beautiful!
Thank you, Stephanie!