Just this week I read about a church “expelling” two of its members due to a high-profile, scandalous betrayal. The pastor spoke to the media, stating that church discipline was a church-family matter, yet he confirmed that the two people were no longer members of his church. That church missed its opportunity to show the world what scandalous grace looks like.
The church is often worse than the priest and the Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan. They saw the wounded man and passed by him on the opposite side of the road. The church tends to walk over to its own wounded (yes, betrayers are often wounded people who create and inflict more wounds) and proceed to kick them.
Sometimes I wonder if the adulterous woman was somehow related to the Pharisees. Was she the wife or sister or daughter of one of their own? I wonder this because the church is best at kicking its own when they’re already wounded.
Some would say church discipline is necessary and that might include dismissing the betrayers from membership. Some would argue that there’s been no true public admission and repentance. Some would argue that expulsion might lead the betrayers to repentance.
Maybe. Maybe not.
People who’ve been caught in betrayal usually aren’t ready to repent. People have to come to repentance on their own; it can’t be forced. Even when there’s been no repentance, no heartfelt sorrow over the damage done, I can guarantee the betrayers are wounded and living in their own private hells. How can the church assist in their healing if it’s kicking at their wounds and turning them away?
It’s sad that it often takes an outsider—like the Good Samaritan—to assist in healing. The priest and the Levite, both religious men of the wounded’s own kind, left him for dead. It was a foreigner, one who by the standards of the day should’ve passed by on the other side, who took care of the wounded man.
Why, Church, are you part of a deeper wounding rather than the healing? Are you worried that wounded, broken people will mar your reputation? Let me break it to you: your reputation can’t get any worse. In fact, I daresay it’s worse than the reputations of the betrayers. In addition, your pews are full of secretly wounded, broken people who are watching to see how you treat others, hoping you’ll offer mercy and grace.
Church, it’s time to step up and help people heal. It’s time to defend your own. It’s time to drop your stones, draw a line in the sand, and stop conversing with the accusers. It’s time to help the wounded. Trade in your church discipline and tough-love tactics for mercy. Otherwise, your message of love and forgiveness is nothing more than a clanging cymbal.
Rebekah I so agree with you. Right now in the United Church of Canada our church authorities are about to review a minister who is challenging our understanding of faith. I do not agree with everything she says but I believe she has an important place in our church. Our United Church of Canada has been known for its respect of difference. We claim to be a big tent church but now we going against our own values out of fear of change and especially dwindling congregations. Thanks for your powerful prophetic ministry. Remember the prophets were never liked by the hierarchies. Blessings Roland
Change is difficult. It brings out all our insecurities, doesn’t it?
“I believe she has an important place in our church.” – That should be our attitudes about every person, even those with whom we don’t agree. Even the betrayers and the scandalous. Everyone should have a place instead of being “expelled.” When we have a place despite our differences and failures, healing happens. Thanks for such an important comment!
Thank you for your prophetic words, Rebekah. As a pastor, I personally know how difficult these type situations are. Due to the churches political structures, these types situations are viewed more through the lenses of how they might impact the organization. I often find myself criticized for expressing grace rather than “tough love.” Such a false dichotomy is tragic. Expressing radical grace is precisely expressing tough love–just as Jesus expressed “tough love” on the cross. We often define such love in reference toward the offender. However, God’s “tough love” is defined in reference to the one offended. It’s tough offering radical grace in certain situations and, strangely, church folk often will be the first to criticize leaders for it. I need to come to grips with my own brokenness, but the only way this happens is through with the gentleness, and tenacity of radical grace. As always, I appreciate your giving this pastor something to contemplate. Shalom, my sister.