It happened a little over a week ago. Another label has been slapped on me. Actually, it’s apparently been floating around for about a year, but someone finally had the nerve to repeat the gossip to my ears.
It’s easy to say, Don’t accept the labels. It seems that most people are pretty good at brushing off the shit others say about them; but for someone who was trained from early childhood that other people’s opinions are more valuable than my own, it’s hard to shake that new label.
At first, the deep, hard-to-breathe, wracking sobs took over my body along with the belief that if they’re saying it, it must be true. Then, the resolve to prove them wrong. Next came the attitude: if they’re already saying it, I might as well give truth to the gossip. Finally, hopelessness settled in along with a dose of isolation.
And I’m stuck.
But here’s the thing. People are going to believe what they want. They’d rather invest in gossip than in hearing both sides of a story because gossip and labels are cheap and easy. There’s no investment in the person being ripped to shreds. And when people are part of the gossip clique, it makes them feel safe.
But one day, the safety net will fail. The gossip and the labels will turn on them because they’ll eventually fail in some way. Everybody does. And when it happens, I won’t join in the attack. I won’t spread the gossip or fling the labels. I’ll go to them and say, I know how it feels. I am here for you.
In the meantime, I sit with the new label, analyzing it, questioning it, fighting it. And fighting the urge to isolate myself; fighting to teach my girls that their opinions are just as valuable as anyone else’s; fighting to believe in myself; fighting to believe the truth of what God says about me.
I’m so very sorry for whatever mean-spirited label was flung at you. It’s a cheap shot, just like talk is cheap. But sticks and stones do hurt and so do acrid words. It’s my prayer that you will remember that THE WORD is your defender and your shield. Let their words bounce off THE WORD behind which you hide. Stay covered by Him, and He will protect your heart and mind. Saturate your mind with HIS words–words of truth. And, yes, set the example. Don’t stoop to that sordid level. Speak words of love and graciousness, but also speak truth–truth in love, if the occasion calls for it. Call them out if it is appropriate. Gossip is insidious. But when you refuse to engage in it w/ someone, hopefully that person will realize you won’t gossip about her either! Again, I’m so very sorry that you have been the victim of such cruelty, Rebekah.
Love
Lynn
Thank you, Lynn.
This makes me think about how God has a name for us, our real name, and it’s written on a stone and he’ll give it to us one day. How everyone thinks they know who we are and they aren’t even freaking close. But he knows.
Court, I hadn’t even thought about that. Thanks for the reminder!