Revenge Or Forgiveness

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Revenge seemed far more appropriate than forgiveness. – Soul Survivor, Philip Yancey

Revenge: to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, especially in a resentful or vindictive spirit. 

Revenge is such a nasty, little word, yet I am prone to think the act of revenge will give me great satisfaction. I think of all the ways I’d like for someone who’s done me wrong to pay. Somehow, I think retaliating will make me feel better or heal the wounds.

It won’t.

There’s a popular TV show, Revenge, in which a woman spends her whole life plotting and exacting revenge on those who destroyed her childhood. I watched a couple of seasons and found myself cheering on the main character as she carried out her vengeance.

It’s true that revenge often seems more appropriate than forgiveness, especially if you live with an “eye for an eye” mindset. When someone betrays you, steals your hope, undermines your dream, abuses you, gains success at your expense, lies about you, (fill in the blank), it’s easy to want revenge.

Forgiveness can be the much more difficult choice.

In Soul Survivor, Yancey writes about how Ghandi always chose the way of forgiveness rather than seemingly-appropriate revenge.

For me, it’s hard as hell to turn the other cheek when all I want to do is strike back. At the very least, I want to cover my face or run away instead of offering myself up to be hurt again. But maybe that’s what forgiveness is — the willingness to turn my cheek and say, Do what you’re going to do.

I’m not there. I’m still tempted by revenge, but mostly, I cover my face and/or run. Sometimes it’s a moment-by-moment, conscious decision to forgive because forgiveness is not my natural inclination. Even then, I don’t necessarily feel like forgiving.

But if forgiveness is the way to inner peace, I’ll keep choosing to forgive until I mean it. My own peace of mind is too important to choose anything less.