God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

My mother taught me the serenity prayer when I was a pre-teen. I must’ve been a control freak even back then. That’s the one part that stuck with me, and has been on constant replay in my head over the last week.

Things I cannot change…like the tattoo I got a few weeks ago. It’s permanent. While I love the beauty of it, its meaning is fading like the fresh color of the ink. Still, it’s a permanent reminder of what I thought was a permanent gift.

I’ve spent the last week coming to a realization: if the gifts God gives are irrevocable, I’ve misinterpreted the gift. I’ve realized I’ve been holding on for nearly eleven years to a music dream that was mine, but apparently not a gift from God. Some years, I’ve held it with an open palm, while others, I’ve held it with an clenched fist.

I’ve spent the last few days opening my hands and turning my palms toward the ground, emptying my hands and heart of what I cannot change: a dream that cannot sustain life. Everything in me is fighting, wanting control…yet, peace is only found in acceptance of that which I cannot change: inevitable changes, including loss.

Acceptance is the realization that I can’t control change. When I accept the things I can’t change, I let go of my expectations and hopes. Funny thing…acceptance is all in letting go. And in letting go, I open myself up for changes and new opportunities.

New dreams…

Different gifts…