I’ve seen people try to change, and I know it isn’t easy.
But nothin’ worth the time ever really is.
And it’s not too late for love.
“Not Too Late,” Norah Jones
I think loving comes easier, or perhaps more naturally, for some people than it does for others. I’ve never been very good at it because I want to receive love before I give it. Eek!…that’s hard to admit.
I asked God several years ago to teach me how to love. I must be a hard case because He’s still teaching me. But the ways He’s teaching showing me love are precious.
I’ve learned something just in the last couple of weeks: I don’t and can’t love God in the way He loves me. I want to. For all these years, I thought I had.
I’ve known this verse since childhood: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. (Mark 12:30, NIV) I know the song. I know the motions to the song. I’ve worn those words like a noose around my neck, trying to love God as perfectly and unconditionally as He loves me. Y’all, I just can’t do it. I fail.
I’ve learned I’m even more like Simon Peter than I thought. I identified with his betrayal, his guilt, and even his restoration. But I missed something. Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. The first two times, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him with an unconditional (agape) love. The last time, Jesus asked him if he loved Him with an affectionately, friendly (phileo) love. Each time, Peter answered that he loved Jesus with a phileo kind of love.
I love Jesus. I do. But only because He first loved me. And He continues to. Over the past few weeks, He’s been unmistakably lavishing His love over me. I want my response to Him to continually be unconditional love, but if I’m honest, on most days, it’s more of a deeply affectionate, friendly love.
If I can’t consistently love God with an unconditional, unselfish love, how can I possibly love others that way? Again, I want to. I have the desire. But I often fail.
Graciously, God has surrounded me with people who show me glimpses of unconditional love…who teach me how to love. It’s a slow process. Maybe it has to be…to make sure the roots have a firm grasp around my heart. But I want to love in the way that I am loved.
