A few months ago, I committed to doing something even though I was hesitant about it. I should’ve known at the first hint of hesitation not to commit. I should’ve trusted my intuition. However, I hushed my inner voice and obligated myself to a community. It’s a great community and works well for those who enjoy participating, but it wasn’t a good fit for me. For someone who is wired for connection, I rarely connected within this community.

After a while, I began to notice my mood would spiral at the mere thought of showing up. I debated with myself for quite some time about letting go of this commitment. I weighed the pros and cons. I wondered what would happen when I quit. I considered whether I’d regret letting go.

Eventually, I quietly left the community and was surprised by the immediate relief I felt. I noticed right away a sense of excitement and anticipation when I thought about having space and time for life-giving community.

I’ve heard more times than I can count that when you let go of something not meant for you, you free up room for what is meant for you. I quickly discovered how true that is. Within a few days of letting go of something I dreaded, I discovered a community where I think I’ll fit perfectly.

Now, of course, there’s something to be said for stretching our comfort zones and allowing ourselves to be uncomfortable. But when you never settle into a rhythm within a community, it’s a sign that it’s time to go find your tribe.

It’s important that we find people who encourage us to be our best selves. It’s never good when we lose ourselves and our identity in order to fit into a community. That’s not to say we can’t participate in communities where we don’t necessarily have a lot in common with others, but that type of community shouldn’t be where we seek support and encouragement, lest we get discouraged and give up.

When we are supported and encouraged, we can encourage and support others; however, if we’re constantly discouraged and drained, we can’t help anyone else.

If you’re weighed down by a commitment to a community that leaves you frustrated and discouraged, make space in your life and go find your people.