Let me start by saying that I made wild assumptions about the circumstance that led to me writing this post. In fact, I was already feeling a bit cynical when I happened upon it, so the filter through which I viewed it was a little blurred. Nevertheless…

I passed over my favorite pita chips, and headed straight for the fruits and vegetables. I hate grocery shopping, so I wanted to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I selected my first watermelon of the summer, and headed over toward the tomatoes. Two people were blocking the aisle, so I weaved my way past the aisle, and circled around to the other end. As I selected my tomato, I couldn’t help but assess the two deep in conversation.

Growing up as a pastor’s kid, and having spent the first twenty years of my life immersed in all things preacher-ish, I immediately assumed the man was/is a preacher. Yes, he was stacking fruit. But he wore khakis and white, long-sleeve button down, and there was an unmistakable tone to his voice. Something that said Minister…loud and authoritative mixed with a bit of false humility.

She stood erect next to her grocery cart in her mom jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes. It was clear that she was hanging on his every word as she didn’t budge when I reached behind her to select my tomato. {I didn’t mind, and assumed she didn’t either.} I overheard the man recounting something I recently read in an article a Facebook friend posted. One sentence was enough for me to know exactly what he was referring to. Because of the subject, my suspicions of him being a preacher grew.

The woman interjected uh-huh and yes in agreement with him in what seemed to be her most respectful voice. For a brief second, I felt like I was at the front door of a church with the congregation exiting, schmoozing over the pastor’s sermon. I was disgusted until I quickly realized I’ve been guilty of the same doting many times. That’s when the I realized something:

I couldn’t think of one single person I care to impress. Not one.

For so many {many} years, I wanted to impress other Christians…be it the pastor, the worship leader, the Sunday School teacher, the women’s ministry leader, the deacon, the nursery worker, the person sitting beside me in Bible study. I wanted to impress my family members, my friends, my co-workers. I wanted to impress the grocery store cashier, the bank teller.

I wanted everyone to think I was smart, kind, patient…and above all, a good Christian with strong convictions. And let me assure you, I had very, very strong convictions. Unfortunately, they weren’t based on my own experiences with God. They were simply ideas I’d been taught to believe and defend since childhood.

But then, seven years ago happened. I realized I was capable of failure…because, well, I failed…big time! And suddenly, all those beliefs didn’t hold true. If they had, God would’ve punished me, and I would’ve lost everything I love. But those things didn’t happen. In fact, I experienced quite the opposite. I experienced a loving, forgiving, grace-giving God.

That turned my world upside-down. Everything I’d believed to be true was suddenly in question. God no longer fit in my box, and I couldn’t quite tell you who He was anymore. And as the years have passed, my questions have grown more numerous; my thoughts a little more cynical; my reading of Scripture much more in context and open to Holy Spirit’s speaking; and, God’s love abundantly more evident.

All I know for certain is that if God loves me, He must love everybody! Experiencing the pit of myself has taught me that I have nothing with which to impress anyone except love. And since I’m not always so great at that either, I’ll just point you in the direction of the One who is Love.