I was in sixth grade, and we’d just moved. Again. The school year was already underway, and entering a pivotal year where friendships had already formed into cliques was a recipe for disaster. Throw an awkward, pre-pubescent, lackluster, new girl into the mix, and I dreaded school on a daily basis.
One particular morning I was having what was probably a mild anxiety attack. I didn’t want to go to school, and I was making every effort to avoid doing so. Once my parents realized I wasn’t sick and that the knots in my stomach were due to dread, they did what they knew best: read Scripture and prayed with me.
I still remember the verse: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (1 Tim. 1:7, KJV) They elaborated on what the verse meant, and followed by praying I wouldn’t be afraid of going to school. It did the trick. My anxiety was soothed for the moment.
It was one of the few times I was taught not to be afraid. Though the book we based our entire lives upon told us over and over not to be afraid and not to fear, the foundation of my Christianity was built upon fear.
- Be afraid of sinning against God; he’s waiting to punish you.
- Be afraid of those who hold different beliefs; they will lead you astray.
- Be afraid of gay marriage; it will ruin a society.
- Be afraid of listening to your heart; it’s evil.
- Be afraid of questioning church authority; they’ve already given you the right answers.
- Be afraid of other religions; they’ll send you straight to hell.
- Be afraid of not witnessing to your friends; they might die in a car crash tonight and spend eternity burning.
- Be afraid of TV shows and movies and rock music; they are the route through which Satan enters the home.
- Be afraid of sex; you might wind up pregnant or with an STD or with a loose reputation.
Fear is the currency in most forms of religion.
“Fear not” and “Don’t be afraid” are words with no substance when the ones wielding them teach their students to be afraid. I know now that fear keeps people in a submissive state to those in power. Fear keeps people from being brave.
It was when I stopped being afraid that my religion began to crumble at my feet. It was when I stopped being afraid that I started questioning authority instead of submitting, which by the way, is the death blow to church membership and participation. It was when I stopped being afraid that I was finally willing to take risks, even if they meant I might fail.
It was when I stopped being afraid that religious people started fearing me and fearing for me.
“Fear”
“Fear not,” they preach
“Don’t be afraid,” I’d read
Yet fear is their tactic
It’s what they practice
Fear gives them power
In their ivory towers
The staple of the steeple
It’s used to slave the people
Fear always takes a stand
Won’t lend a helping hand
Never wants to change
Its only verb is shame
“Do not fear,” they say
“Only trust and pray”
Subjects taught to be scared
Won’t question or dare
I tired of the twisted scheme
Ran right toward the guillotine
Found out fear was a hoax
For those who abandon their souls
I figured out that fear keeps people from being able to love others, especially those who might have different beliefs or lifestyles. And I realized that love was more important than fear. Isn’t that what all the stories of Jesus show us?
He wasn’t afraid of a thief; he went to his house for dinner. He wasn’t afraid of an adulteress; he took her side then sent her on her way. He wasn’t afraid of contact with a promiscuous woman; he welcomed her touch and hushed the rumors before they could be verbalized. He wasn’t afraid of doubt; he offered proof to the doubter. He wasn’t afraid of denial or betrayal; he washed the feet of those who did both.
Wasn’t his whole life an example of overcoming fear with love?
The only folks who should’ve been afraid of Jesus were those who were instilling fear in others in the name of religion. He wasn’t afraid of them, their power, or their fear-and-shame-based religion.
A religious structure founded on fear can’t love like Jesus. Maybe it’s time Christians decided which is truly more important: to let fear reign or let love have its way.
