One of the most important lessons my husband and I have tried to teach our daughters is to never give up. Like most parents I suppose, we’ve told our girls from the time they were tiny they could be whatever they wanted to be. We’ve watched teary eyes filled with discouragement while swallowing reminders of our own defeats, and encouraged them to work hard until they succeed. Sometimes, that actually works.
But when you’re facing the big 4-0, and you’ve spent a little over three years working hard and failing miserably at every turn, success is elusive. That’s when the realization sets in: sometimes it’s okay to give up.
I spent a little over three years not giving up. I did everything I knew, and learned how to do the things I didn’t. As Christians would say, I put it all in God’s hands. And as motivational leaders would say, I gave it all I had. I tried everything in order to keep going, to not give up. And I nearly lost my sanity.
I came to the understanding that it’s okay to give up sometimes.
When you’ve spent dollar after dollar and sleepless night after sleepless night chasing a dream that just won’t come true, it’s okay to give up.
When you’ve repeatedly bent over backwards until you feel yourself becoming a doormat in order to save that friendship or family relationship, it’s okay to give up.
When you’ve worked countless hours and neglected those you love in order to get ahead in that thankless job, it’s okay to give up.
When you’ve prayed prayer after prayer and begged to hear something more than silence to no avail, it’s okay to give up.
When you’ve given until there’s nothing left to give and bitterness has replaced your joy, it’s okay to give up.
It really is okay to give up. It’s okay to take a time out to grieve losses. It’s okay to binge on Netflix and eat a half gallon of ice cream and hide under the covers and lose yourself in a good book and re-organize your entire house while you’re grieving.
And when you’re done with all that, it’s okay to get up, take a deep breath, and step up to the drawing board to figure out how to renew and re-invent yourself and your hopes and your dreams. Giving up gives you the opportunity to do and/or be something new. Giving up allows you to step into a new adventure.
So give up if you need to. Give up if you’re all out of options. Give up if you’ve got nothing left to give.
Take the time you need to mourn and grieve. When you’re done, get back up and face the world with the wisdom you’ve gained from your losses. The world needs stories from people like you . . . people who know how to rise from the ashes.
