I’d like to write a feel-good article about how losing is really winning. I’d like to talk about how the last are really first. I’d like to say that life is like that sports program where the score isn’t kept, and we all get a trophy in the end.

But we all know better than that.

We live in a world where you can work your ass off, do the right thing, give until it hurts, and turn the other cheek (repeatedly), and still lose.

Employers will still fire people; marriages will still fall apart; friends will still abandon one another; dreams will still crash and burn; and family members will still reject and neglect each other.

Maybe you have your own scenario. You’ve given 100 percent only to find yourself dead last.

I’m right there with you. I wish I had answers. Patronizing phrases come to mind:

Tie a knot at the end of your rope, and hang on.

Hit your knees in prayer.

Get up and try again.

Your lucky break is just around the corner.

The truth is sometimes we’re just at the end of ourselves, and are drained of every drop of energy. Yet we feel like we have to get up and get back in the rat race. But it’s okay remain flat on our faces for as long as we need. I think we just need permission to do so.

There’s a world full of hurting people. I don’t understand the pressure to pretend we’re fine when we’re not. So let’s take our time. Grieve our losses. Cry over how much it hurts.

When we’re ready to face the harsh world of survival of the fittest again, we will.

Until then, let’s give ourselves and each other permission and time to ache over losing.