If you haven’t already experienced it, you will. One day someone will give up on you. A family member. A close friend. A boss. Someone.

If you have experienced it, you’ve probably questioned yourself repeatedly. You’ve wondered what you could’ve done differently, if anything.

You didn’t do what was expected of you. 

 

Your work wasn’t quite good enough.

 

Your relationship wasn’t worth fighting for.

 

People walk out of our lives, and don’t blink an eye back in our directions. It hurts like hell. It feels like a death.

This is the area where the Enemy attacks me most often. He knows my soft spot, so that’s where he throws his hardest punches. For someone who’s never experienced the death of a close loved one, I’ve grieved a lot of losses.

What I’ve finally opened myself up to learning is that in the loss, God draws me ever closer to Him. He absorbs my hurt. As a result, I’m learning what it means to not give up on others.

You see, we often wound others by inflicting our wounds on them. In the past when I’ve experienced loss, I’ve built walls and withdrawn from others, vowing not to let anyone close again. Inevitably, I let the walls slip long enough to let someone in, only to go through the loss again. The cycle repeats. In the process of walling off my heart, I wound others with my wounds.

However, the cycle seems to be breaking. I can look back and see those who didn’t give up on me…those who pulled me through some of my darkest times. In turn, I’m learning what it means not to give up on others, including those who give up on me. While I can’t change their minds, I can pray and hope and believe.

I won’t lie and say it’s any easier since deciding not to give up on others; in fact, it seems a little more difficult to love the ones who hurt me most. But it always helps to remember that hurt and wounded people hurt and wound others. When I keep that in mind, it changes my perspective from holding on to the hurt to holding on to hope.

It’s nothing short of a miracle how God takes our wounds, works through them and makes us stronger because of them. As if that weren’t enough, He then uses our wounds to help others. He always gives purpose to the pain.

I’ve been stuck on a song from Amy Grant’s new album, “How Mercy Looks From Here,” that encourages me not to give up on others. My favorite lyrics from “Not Giving Up” are:

Oh, not so long ago,

You pulled me through
So I’m not giving up,

Not giving up on you

Even if the rain comes down

And your sky is falling

I’m not giving up,

Not giving up on you

You can say you’ve had enough

But I won’t stop calling,

I’m not giving up,

Not giving up on you

You know we can work this out

If we just keep talking

I’m not giving up,

Not giving up on you

Not giving up on you