I know some of you are expecting a full report on my church experience from yesterday. However, it’s much too raw at this point, so this is just a short recap.

We went to a church which we’ve never attended, but have heard many great things about.

I was apprehensive all morning, and as soon as the worship team stepped on the stage, I crumbled into a weepy mess. I didn’t know any of the songs, which was probably best as that would’ve induced more tears.

I really appreciated the message as it was not a typical Easter sermon, yet it was still very much about new life in Christ. Included in the message was a video story of a father reconciled to his sons, which brought on a whole new level of weepiness.

By the time the service was over, I had little makeup left on my face. {Lesson learned: always carry makeup in purse when going to church.}

The stress of the morning combined with all the emotions I experienced in the service made for a complete melt-down later in the day. What a way to celebrate Easter…sheesh!

Overall, I realized I’m just not ready to go back to church. In fact, I’d say yesterday was a pretty significant setback for me. And the setback has much less to do with that church or that service, and much more to do with all the negative experiences I’ve had with church.

It seems it should be easy for me to just let go and move on, but my entire life and family has been intertwined with church in a way that many of you may not understand unless you grew up the child of a pastor.

While I think I may listen online to some of the messages from the pastor of the church we attended yesterday, I doubt I’ll be attending church again anytime soon.

One final note: So many of you sent me messages and texts and emails yesterday to let me know you were praying for me. Those notes and prayers mean more to me than I can ever adequately express. Once again, thank you so very much.