We’ve all been told at some point in our lives, Do the right thing. Maybe you heard it from a teacher, a parent, a pastor, a friend. I’ve heard it from all of the afore-mentioned.
Most of us know at gut-level what the right thing is in a given situation. But there are also times when we can drive ourselves nearly crazy trying to figure out what the right thing is.
I grew up hearing Do the right thing no matter what anybody else does, but I was often conflicted between what I felt my gut indicating and what I’d been taught to believe was the right thing. By the time I was a young adult, I’d silenced my gut and lived by a set of rules I’d been taught, which I called my beliefs.
Over the past ten years as my beliefs have been sifted, my mind and gut have frequently been in conflict over what the right thing is, which has often led to indecision and inaction and inner turmoil.
When you build your life around doing the right thing, and suddenly the right thing is no longer clear, fear takes up residence. For those of us who have lived this way, it is horribly frightening to open ourselves up to being vulnerable and allowing ourselves to make mistakes . . . to be unsure of whether or not we’re doing the right thing. Rather than take a chance and go with our guts, we retreat and shut down. And on the occasions when we do go with our guts, without all the over-thinking, people who have grown to expect us to behave according to a set of rules will often abandon us, which reinforces the idea of retreating and inaction.
But you know what?
The world doesn’t stop spinning when we fail to do the right thing, or when the right thing is different than what someone expected. It’s better to take a chance on something being wrong than to sit in a state of indecision, inaction, and inner turmoil. That’s when fear loses its grip on us and courage grows. It also lets us know who loves us and will stand by us.
I’m finding that for me, the right thing is most often that which includes love, peace, human equality, and healthy boundaries. And, oddly enough, giving myself permission and freedom to be wrong is the right thing.
