I’ve spent the last two days in a protective shell, shutting out the world. The funny thing is it’s not the world I’ve needed to shut out. I’ve needed to feel protection from religion, from anyone whose heart doesn’t scream Grace!, from those who would have me quiet down about radical grace, from those who would have me deny my beliefs in the name of submission to authority and leadership.

I’ve questioned over and over if there’s such a thing as leaning too far towards grace. I’ve questioned if Jesus intended us to live in some middle ground between drowning in grace and striving for holiness. I’ve questioned if we move from grace to holiness {as if that’s even possible}. I’ve questioned whether I should write more about God’s wrath and less about Grace and Mercy.

All of this has reminded me what brought me to the threshold of the mystery of grace in the first place: a miserable failure that led to the awakening that I am incapable of doing or being good enough to be acceptable to God. Don’t think I haven’t tried. I’ve used all kinds of good behavior in an effort to please God and be holy: commitment to church, tithing, participating in Bible studies, reading the Bible daily, taking meals to sick friends. That’s the short list; trust me when I say there’s a much longer, stricter one.

Do you know what I found? What pleases God is when I rest and trust in Grace, in the finished work of Jesus, in the guiding whisper of Holy Spirit. He looks past my behavior {good or bad}, and sees the righteousness of Jesus in me. He delights in me, even when my behavior is contrary to that of holiness.

Over the past two days, I’ve found that I don’t lean far enough towards grace. So I’m pressing further into it, and propping myself up on it. It’s the only foundation on which I want to live. The more I stake my life upon it, the more I am overwhelmed by grace.

The following question was recently asked of me: Do you think grace is an excuse to sin? My initial answer was the same answer it’s always been when I’ve been asked that question: No. But after the past two days, I have a different answer. Maybe I’m getting picky with semantics, but let me show you something.

Excuse is defined as to regard or judge with forgiveness; pardon or forgive; overlook; to offer an apology for; seek to remove the blame of; to serve as an apology or justification for; to release from an obligation or duty.

Now let’s turn that question into sentences, replacing excuse with the definitions:

Grace regards or judges sin with forgiveness. Grace pardons or forgives sin. Grace overlooks sin. Grace offers an apology for sin. Grace seeks to remove the blame of sin. Grace serves as an apology or justification for sin. Grace releases me from the obligation or duty of sin.

Grace. Scandalous grace. Yes, grace excuses sin! And in the process, it somehow leads me to love God and to desire to carry out good works…to be holy.

Is it an excuse to sin? As Paul says in Romans 6, May it never be! As my dear friend and grace advocate, Jennifer, said, I don’t know {anybody} that is consumed with the idea of grace that looks at ways to exploit it {in order} to sin more. Those who caution against extending too much grace are those who live in fear. Fear that sin might win. But we already know the ending: Grace wins!

If anything, the past two days of emotional and mental turmoil have brought me to a deeper understanding of grace, as well as a greater dependence on it. I won’t retreat from extending grace to those who have caused their own hurt due to sin. I won’t offer steps for behavior {or sin} management. I won’t encourage others to strive for holiness; instead, I will encourage them to rest in grace. I will emphatically remind others that God doesn’t condemn or punish them because forgiveness for sin was completed at the cross.

My resolve is founded on one thing, and one thing only: grace. Scandalous grace that relentlessly rescues me…moment by moment.