I sat alone in the room waiting to see my doctor. Music drifted through the speakers overhead, and at first, I held my breath, waiting for the sadness and anxiety to take over. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I sat there listening to and observing song after song from what must’ve been a worship-music playlist.

I listened to one familiar song after another, choruses repeating dozens of times. And while my mind occasionally drifted back to performing those same songs in church, mostly I listened from the perspective of someone who’s been removed from that scene for a long time.

I wondered what effect the exclusive language of worship music is supposed to have on unchurched people. The language is normal to people who live within the church setting, but to someone who’s been out of church for three years and avoided most Christian music, the language seemed foreign and bizarre. Now, I know this is the point where church folks claim they’re supposed to be set apart and that they take pride in being different and that it’s how they’re supposed to reach people for Jesus.

I disagree.

I’m not at all saying church folks aren’t sincere in singing their music. I certainly was. When I sang in church, I thought about the lyrics. I thought about their depth (well, when there actually was depth) and meaning. I hoped those lyrics would reach deep inside some soul who needed them.

But now? Now most of the lyrics, the language, remind me of something like an alma mater. They mean something to the people who have connection to it, but they mean little or nothing to folks on the outside. As I listened, I wondered how I’d ever missed and mourned singing those songs.

Maybe “praise and worship” songs have their place within the church. Maybe repetitively singing, “How great is our God” is a balm to some hurting heart, but as an outsider, I’d rather hear about how that same God loves me just like I am. Heck, even when I was on the inside, there were plenty of times I could’ve used some real-world, acknowledge-the-heartache-that-comes-with-being-human lyrics.

I know the verse about “singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,” but I think the church often fails to address grief and suffering and injustice. Instead, many church songs skip over all those and move right on to praising God. But I have to wonder if that praise reaches past the church roof when there are so many hurting people outside (and sometimes inside) the church walls.

What about songs that teach the church to love and embrace the LGBTQ community? What about songs that denounce gun violence? What about songs that address the grief of losing someone to suicide? What about songs that call the church to action to help put an end to violence and racism and homelessness? Shouldn’t it be the church’s job to write and sing those songs? I’d like to think those are the songs Jesus would sing.