Christian music — I use that phrase loosely because I don’t like the idea of music being Christian or non-Christian. I think there’s a sacredness even in the secular.

But it’s no secret that I love worship music, i.e., “Christian music.” It’s one of the reasons I miss church — I miss singing those songs. It’s why I can barely bring myself to listen to those songs anymore. It hurts too much.

Around the time I started writing songs, I heard a worship leader say, “Christian music should answer the deep questions of the heart.” I loved that idea — probably because I needed answers. His statement seemed logical to me because, after all, aren’t Christians supposed to have the key to the answers to all of life’s questions?

I’ve been listening to Gungor this morning. Admittedly, I only knew a few of their songs. But with all the negativity from Christians this past week surrounding Gungor’s beliefs, I decided to listen to a variety of their music. As Gungor’s songs ushered me into the presence of grace, what I quickly realized was in direct contradiction to the worship leader’s comment about songwriting.

Maybe “Christian music” shouldn’t answer the deep the questions of the heart.

Maybe “Christian music” should ask harder questions. Maybe it should dig deeper. Maybe it should reveal mysteries to which we won’t know the answers in this life. Maybe it should put cracks in our concrete foundations. Maybe it should untie the big, fancy bow we like to wrap around the lives of Christians. Maybe it should stir up the scandal of grace. Maybe it should keep us wandering and wondering because it’s only then that we truly know rescue. Maybe it should make us realize redemption is ongoing and not a one-time, life event. Maybe it should break us wide open so we always bear the scars of songs of mercy.

I want to write more questions than answers. May the songs of my life invite others to gather at the Table and join in the mystery.