When did passion become a bad thing? Maybe it hasn’t. Maybe it’s that I’m passionate about the wrong things…the unacceptable things. Or maybe it’s that I display my passion in the wrong places.
I blog. I share my writings, my thoughts, my opinions, my beliefs {the few I have left} through social media. Social. Media. Social meaning connection, relationships, community. Specifically, I share via Facebook and Twitter more than any other medium.
Recently, I’ve noticed quite a shift in my socialness on Facebook.
When I post photos of sunsets or statuses about what I’m cooking for dinner or happy, shiny quotes or random, blah-type thoughts, all is well. But the minute I post anything pertaining to God or religion that I’m passionate about, people start chastising. It comes in the forms of direct comments, private messages, and not-so-subtle statuses about what I should be doing on social media.
Perhaps if I were passionate about a 60-hour per week job that kept me from my family, that would be okay. Or if I were passionate about sharing out-of-context Bible verses, that would be acceptable. When I was passionate about the right-wing, political rhetoric a few years ago, Christian support was in abundance.
But when my life started changing, and I started being passionate about the radical grace I was experiencing, people threw on the brakes. When I started talking about the fact that Christians shouldn’t be spiritually or emotionally abusive, that really irritated people. Suddenly, I overshare on social media, and I’m a negative person. Suddenly, I should keep my thoughts, opinions and beliefs to myself.
I receive “encouragement” telling me I should read my Bible more and pray more and go to church. So I wonder exactly how often I should I read my Bible. Is once a day enough? Or should I read it twice a day? Exactly how often should I pray? And how many church services should I attend per week? Because here’s the thing: I did all those things consistently and routinely for decades, and somehow, I still reached this point in my life.
Am I passionate about God and what I believe(d) about Him and how I’m questioning all those beliefs? Absolutely! Am I sorry for it? Absolutely not! Am I working through years of shit? You bet! Am I going to go into hiding until I’m somehow better or acceptable or have all the right answers? Nope. Is it helpful for me to share my struggles publicly? I think so, according to the private emails, texts and messages I receive from people who are going through similar struggles, but are too afraid to talk to anyone about them.
So here’s what I’ll say as kindly as I know how: I will not stop writing. I will not stop sharing. If you are bothered by my writings or my sharing and can’t bear to see them, by all means, please de-friend me…unfollow me. Do whatever makes you feel better. It won’t hurt my feelings. I realize love is not based on our social media connection, or lack of.
Just know that I’m a passionate person, which by the way, is how God made me. No, I don’t always get it right…but none of us do. I think God can handle that. If I’m wrong and personally offend you, we should talk, and I’ll apologize. However, if you simply don’t agree with my thoughts or opinions or wavering beliefs, chances are I don’t agree with yours either, and I don’t think it’s necessary to try to sway one another to the other side. I share for the people who care to read, who need to know someone else is struggling. If that’s not you, well…can’t we just agree to disagree?
