Secrets of betrayal are heavy. Literally. They make the heart feel heavy, twist knots in the stomach, and weary the body. It’s as if a thick, dark fog settles in, and the longer the secret is kept, the area the fog reaches enlarges. The fog blinds the secret-keeping betrayer from the truth of freedom. They believe that the consequences of telling the truth will be worse than the constant anxiety with which they currently live. Fear paralyzes them.
A word to the betrayer…
The truth is that freedom and healing begin with sharing the secret {with someone trustworthy who will encourage the healing process}. You may have to pay severe consequences for your actions, but the lifted weight from your heart will be worth it. In addition, acknowledging your wrong before God and trusting in His grace will provide the peace which has so long eluded you. Read what David had to say in Psalm 32: When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Thy hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to Thee, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and Thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin…Thou dost surround me with songs of deliverance.
A word to the betrayed…
There are never good excuses for someone to betray the innocent. And you may not be able to scrape together an ounce of grace in your deepest parts for your betrayer. However, at some point, it may help to realize this one thing: hurt and wounded people hurt and wound others. It’s not an excuse. It’s not a good reason. It’s not an out or an escape. But that one realization may help you in your healing process…because now you have been hurt and wounded. You must find healing in order for the cycle to end.