Tomorrow I’ll find out what I’m made of. I woke up this morning with nervous excitement because I’ll be running my third half marathon tomorrow morning. The difference in this one and the last two is that I’ll be running without a buddy. Solo. Alone in a crowd. Just me, myself, and my running-music playlist.
This race is important to me for a couple of reasons:
Last year, I missed out running this race because I didn’t train enough. I stood on the sidelines instead. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. I’m meant to be running the race, not standing by as a spectator.
Secondly, it’s important because just a few months ago, I could barely run. Last spring, I started having so much abdominal pain due to endometriosis that running became almost impossible. There was a four-month period when I didn’t run at all. After my hysterectomy and recovery, I slowly began to run again last October. It was like starting all over again. An eighth of a mile at first, then a quarter mile, then a half mile until I worked my way back into training.
I know my running abilities and endurance enough to know that around mile 9 or 10, I’m going to get tired. I’m going to have to do a lot of encouraging self-talk. That’s hard to do when your mind keeps saying, Just go sit on the curb and rest. You’ve still got a few miles to go. I’m not sure you can do this.
Tomorrow appears that it may be another one of those life-defining moments for me. I don’t like being alone or doing hard things alone. But as in other areas of my life, some are running ahead, and some I’ve left behind. My husband, who’s helped me train and run one half-marathon with me, is running ahead at a faster pace in the full marathon. My niece, who ran the last two with me, will be at a slower pace as she is running with and encouraging my sister during her first half-marathon. {Shout out to my 50-year-old sister for working hard and training to achieve a new goal!!}
So this is my race. My finish time is up to me alone. That’s both exciting and scary, but I can’t wait to find out exactly what I’m capable of on my own! I can’t wait to make fear go sit on the curb alone.
Rebekah, I just read your post and realize that the event is now history. I don’t know the outcome for you; if you were disappointed or exhilarated by the experience. It seems like this race might be a metaphor, or allegory, for the struggles you’ve shared in your blog. As such, I know you approached it boldly, despite your fears, and ran well, despite any apparent failures. I pray, sister, that you will continue to run well. Shalom.